Zach Johnson wins and loses

Congratulations to Zach Johnson, who won the masters, but more importantly, was charged with sexually molesting a small boy who he proclaimed to be his "baby." After finishing his golf game, he proceeded to pull a young boy out of the crowd and makeout with it for a couple minutes. Said a source i made up: "He was all over that poor kid, it was deplorable. I think i even saw a finger or two make it's way into the back of the diaper." Johnson seemed to think he did nothing wrong, saying: "Whatever, I just won the masters, I do what i want."

Johnson is out on 200,000$ bail and will appear in court on may 25th