Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hmm...What to Hate...

How about people talking loudly in a quiet public environment?

Fuck you, people talking loudly in a quiet public environment. Ex. Libraries...and so on. I don't know any other examples. Fuck you.

If you want to go "ball wit some boys" during a break, fine. If you're "hittin up Sohos and Habanos" on friday, that's super. Guess what? I'M HUNTING YOU DOWN AND KILLING YOU, SO THANKS FOR ANNOUNCING YOUR WHEREABOUTS TO EASE MY QUEST. It's pretty simple. You're aware you're in a library, and you're also aware there are many people trying to do work there. So don't fucking yell at people right beside you and walk around yelling at people. I can't even comprehend how these people function in everyday life. It's such a simple consideration, and when I see someone who can't recognize that, it blows my mind. What kind of environment were you raised in? What do you when you're with your family? You're not at Habanos yet, SO STOP TALKING LIKE YOU'RE THERE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

NFL Power Rankings

Power Rankings are so arbitrary and useless. But THESE ones come with no real analysis at all! Yay!

1. Colts

Ain't no one stopping the Colts. They do whatever they want. It makes me pretty sad.

2. Saints

Every time Drew Brees throws the ball, he yells "DREW BREEEEES!!" They'll be the top team in the NFC. Look at their schedule. The Pats, and that's it.

3. Vikings

They should have beat the Steelers, and fuck the Steelers' defence. They're not "incredible" because Chester Taylor can't catch. He catches that ball, and everyone knob-slobs Favre and wonders what's wrong with the Steelers.


Just goes to show how fast a team turnaround can be. Really though? The shittiest defence last year, lost their franchise QB, AND drafted another fucking runningback, which they had plenty of in the first place.

5. Patriots

Assholes. I really hope something bad happens to them. However, I bet a divisional playoff loss is the actual outcome. Which is fine by me.

6. Bengals

I told everyone I knew all year that they would be good, and they are. Eat it. Looking at the schedule, if they can beat either the Steelers or Ravens again, I like them winning the division.

7. Steelers

I've given up on lifting the toilet seat up when I piss. I feel that I'm accurate enough to hit the bowl straight through. If I miss, there's nothing toilet paper can't fix.

8. Packers

They can beat anyone in the league if they can protect him and he gets the ball out quicker. Why are so many people Packers fans? I don't understand.

9. Ravens

The Ravens have switched, and their offense is now the good part of their team. Their defense is getting worked. I like them, but they'll need a lot of luck to make the playoffs.

10. Cardinals

What's with Kurt Warner's jersey? It looks so obscenely different from everyone else's in the league. Just get the cool-looking quarterback sleeves and quit it with this shit.

11. Eagles

RAIDERS! I won't get over that for awhile. Oh, and Michael Vick is fucking TERRIBLE. I can't believe he's on that team.

12. Cowboys

I like Tony Romo, but I also like seeing Tony Romo fail miserably. I'm often conflicted. But the failures are so much more spectacular when the postseason rolls around, so it's an easy decision then.

13. Texans

Their offense is deadly, I look forward to their second-half breakthrough. I feel like people who live in Texas outside of Houston who cheer for the Texans are considered gay. I don't know why.

14. Atlanta

Could make the playoffs because the NFC is pretty bad this year. Their offense can't be as anemic as it was against the Cowboys though, or they're looking at 8-8.

15. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Use mozza cheese. Fuck. Those are some good grilled cheese sandwiches. Whoever thought of melting cheese on things is a goddamn hero.

16. Jets

I had started writing about Mike Silver's columns, then I decided it would take too long.

17. Giants
Ok, I think the Giants suck. Everyone was all "their secondary is the best in the league" when they played the Saints. It wasn't. They just played incredibly shitty teams. Yeah, you can beat the Raiders by a lot. Congrats. I say no playoffs for the Giants. AND WHY ARE THEIR JERSEYS SO TIGHT??

18. Dolphins

Chad Henne is our franchise quarterback! He's a great talent!....said everyone after he did good in his first game. What's that? One game proves nothing? No kidding.

19. Chargers

Oh yes, I love it. I don't expect them in the playoffs this year. No running game, no defense, good luck.

20. Bears

Oh Jay. Football players need to be more humble when they make career decisions. If you've got a great line and great receivers, take what you can get. The Bears offense as a whole is so bad. When Housh was searching for a team, he visited Minnesota, then decided against playing with them because they had a shitty quarterback at the time. I thought that was awesome. Lions beating them isn't out of the question.

21. Seahawks

I like figuring out little things that are sad about people. Like a guy I know wears a hat all the time. I've never really noticed or thought anything about it until one time I saw him without a hat, and he was balding. And I saw him mingling with younger people once in an unappropriate hat environment, and he was wearing a hat. Just accept who you are!! And shave it into a horseshoe already...

22. 49ers

Alex Smith is their new starting quarterback. Good luck with all that.

23. Panthers

I really like Jake Delhomme. His on-field antics are absolutely hilarious. His fried chicken commercials are equally as hilarious. I wish I could talk to him. Boy does he suck this year.

24. Jaguars

Who cares.

25. Bills

That's pretty crazy that they've only allowed one WR touchdown all Brian Hartline. I like that A LOT. They still suck. And Ryan Fitzpatrick isn't going to help things.

26. Redskins

I saw an NFL Films thing on Jim Zorn and Steve Largent last night. It was awesome. I hadn't known much at all about Zorn before he took the head coach job, and I bet a lot of people were the same way. He's driven a yellow Beetle to work every day of his life, he loves fake field goals and Steve Largent is his best friend. I love learning that kind of stuff. There was also a segment about Centers and Quarterbacks and their relationship. I could watch NFL films all day long and never get bored.

27. Chiefs

Larry's gettin frustrated!

28. Saskatchewan Roughriders

Great game against the Lions. Darian Durant is awesome, and I'm sick of people who want to bench him after a mediocre performance. He has one bad game sometimes and everyone gets all crazy to bench him.

29. Raiders

I hope Al Davis lives forever. He runs a football team the way I've run Madden teams in the past. Get whoever has the top 40 time, pay players whatever they ask, pick up whoever seems like they have the highest overall rating. If a quarterback has high throw power, you can just develop his accuracy. All Madden moves. I bet Al plays a lot of Madden.

30. Titans

Please start Vince Young. Him and Jamarcus can doom black quarterbacks for eternity. They will singlehandedly erase all the work Martin Luther King did.

31. Lions

Is this almost over?

32. Rams

At least this team seems to believe they are building toward something. In the meantime, they should have shipped off Bulger for whatever they can get. A rookie QB next year, couple other good pickups, and they could be 6-10. That's a step.

33. Browns

Being an NFL player on a really bad team would be the worst. It would ruin your entire year with sadness, disappointment, and injuries. And especially if you know that next year the team will be just as shitty.

34. Buccaneers

Finally. Time for lunch.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Economics of Getting Wasted

BACKGROUND: This was a class assignment for one of my economics classes awhile ago. Cool beans.

Why would anyone opt to purchase a small case of beer rather than a big one?

When you purchase a large quantity of beer, you may not drink it all that night or on that weekend, but you'll eventually drink it. So why would anyone ever get something like a six-pack when the marginal cost per beer is higher than if you would get the largest case of beer available?

This not only applies to beer, but to types of hard alcohol as well. A large amount of people opt to purchase their alcohol in quantities of six beers or 375ml of hard alcohol. The economic option for anyone who engages in the regular consumption of alcohol should be to buy as much as they can when they are in need of it. One fundamental assumption of this study is that there is no difference in quality when purchasing alcohol in bulk, unlike other goods, such as fruits. A person saves money by buying large amounts of alcohol at the point that they need it, provided they have ample funds to do so. Say a person purchases six beers and 375ml of hard alcohol per week, and another purchases fifteen beers and a 750ml bottle of hard alcohol every two weeks. The second person's choice is much better. He saves money by not having to make the trip to the liquor store, thereby saving him the cost of time and gas. He also saves money because buying alcohol in higher quantities means a lower marginal cost per unit of alcohol.

Another economic situation within this example is the liquor store. The liquor stores realizes it is economic for people to purchase large amounts of alcohol, and the price reduction is clear when you purchase a larger amount of anything in the store. They are encouraging people to buy more alcohol because they make a bigger profit in the short run, and people realize they save money in the long run. Now what about the liquor store's profits in the long run? It seems as though the liquor store would eventually lose money. Logic dictates that if people are saving money from buying alcohol in the long run, the liquor store will lose money in the long run, but this is not the case. The liquor store keeps the short run profits up because people are constantly purchasing alcohol, until they grow too old. By this point, younger people have substituted for them. The consumer turnover helps keep up these profits. The liquor store's short run profits are also its long run profits, and people are still able to save money in the long run.

A reason why someone might purchase a small amount of alcohol is the opportunity cost of purchasing a large amount. When you do purchase a large amount of alcohol, depending on your lifestyle, you sacrifice your public image. People will assume you are an alcoholic or at least a heavy drinker if they see you with such large amounts of alcohol, when in fact, you're just an economist. The opportunity cost is how much you are willing to sacrifice your public image for the money saved by buying alcohol in large amounts. For many people in university, the trade-off is simple, because you're surrounded by people that value alcohol and saving money(no matter how much) over public perception. As we grow older, we associate in smaller group gatherings and public perception's value becomes much greater. The value of money, time and gas saved by purchasing large amounts of alcohol is often substantially less than the value of public perception for people looking to earn the respect of their peers.

The same opportunity cost is evident again, at the liquor store. There is a 3 litre unit of alcohol, called a Texas Mickey, that can be purchased in the store. Previous arguments show that this unit will have a marginal cost lower than that of a smaller unit of alcohol. However, this is wrong in this particular case. A Texas Mickey is an item that cannot be practical for anyone attending any sort of gathering, with the exception of a big party. People attending this sort of party will find it appealling, and these are the type of people that do not value sophisticated public perception. It should be recalled that the trade-off for public perception is the money saved. Again, this isn't the case. Since Texas Mickeys are very likely to be purchased by groups of these people, the marginal cost is still low per person because they'll split the bill, and they get the added value of the novelty of the item. They'll still have a low marginal cost, despite the fact that the Texas Mickey has a higher cost per unit of alcohol. That is why the liquor store is able to charge more for a Texas Mickey.

What we've seen is that it is economically feasible for someone to purchase large amounts of alcohol at the point where they need it. Someone who opts to purchase a small amount of alcohol values their public perception over the value of money, time and gas saved.

Backpacks with Wheels

I see countless number of Asian people at the university who have these fucking backpacks with wheels. I HATE them. Carry your backpack like everyone else and deal with the weight. Want to know why you're 120 pounds? Because you avoid doing even the most mundane tasks that could exercise any muscles you have. Fuck you.


I'm going to start this up again regularly. I'll recap the times I get drunk so I can remember them later, talk about stupid things, make fun of people, and talk about sports