Saturday, December 8, 2007

Weekly NFL Rankings


last week I said fuck the monday night game.

Well fuck me right in the ass.
These will be shorter than the AFC...and with a slightly angrier tone.

1. Dallas- ROMO. You fucking dick. All you do is run around and shotput the fucking football to whatever receiver is open. Looks like it's a fucking cakewalk out there.

2. Green Bay- Okay Aaron Rodgers, whats with the two "a"s in your name. You think you're sneaky A-Aron? I'm watching you. Or at least I'd like to be. Take a ride on the fucking pine Brett Favre. Let Jake Plummer's caveman successor have a go.

3. Minnesota- Minnesota is fucking BALLING right now. Jackson is starting to learn how to play QB, Purple Jesus is back, Sidney Rice is emerging, I'm telling you, they are gonna come close to winning the AFC.

4. Seattle- Buck the fuck up Tiki.

5. Tampa Bay-

6. New York- I hate this team. Way too inconsistent. Their jerseys are way too tight and their gray pants make me vomit.

7. Philadelphia- If Andy Reid concentrated as hard on winning as he does grooming his mustache, they'd be incredible.

8. Arizona- Go Kurt Warner! You're a fucking robot!


10. New Orleans-

11. Washington- Good luck with Todd Collins

12. Chicago Bears- What happened to this defence? Adam Archuleta.

13. St. Louis Rams- Brock Berlin

14. Carolina Panthers- David Carr

15. San Fran-

16. Atlanta- Chris Redman


Isaak said...

Haha damn...doesn't get much lazier than that

stephen said...

That was lazy but that's pretty much how I would have ranked them too so that was good at least

Clock Cleaner said...

i got done the first 3 or 4 and just got all bummed out about doing another 12.

very lazy indeed

Nazi Synthesizer said...

Fuck you! Theres nothing wrong with Todd Collins.

Nazi Synthesizer said...


Isn't Aaron the traditional way to spell that name? I mean...I would think it was weird if it was spelled any other way.

Clock Cleaner said...

it is the traditional way...but it's stupid if you think about.

whats the point of 2 'a's?

you don't see names like eearl or davvid.

but now i'm thinking names like jeff and brett are just as stupid. jef and bret.

Bret Michaels' parents were sick of people naming their kids unpronounced letters.

whatever...I was reaching for something to say. don't judge me.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

I get it. That's okay.

Wally said...

how could you not find something good to say about the 49ers. i mean come on they have some sweet jerseys and they scored a touchdown last game and and and... ah fuck it. i got nothing.
well there is always next season. fucking alex smith

Clock Cleaner said...

sorry marc, there is no next season either...thanks to the continued presence and salary of fucking alex smith.

The Manute Bol Experience said...

Not to mention the lack of a first round pick. Not an optimal situation for a rebuilding team.