Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bright Headlights. You Know What's Coming.

There isn't a more aggravating car accessory around.

I'm of the opinion that night driving would be significantly easier if all car lights were dimmer. I've driven around when there are no cars out and it's dark, and I can see shitloads better. I'm convinced that car lights have gotten to the point where the only reason you decide to buy them is to blind the shit out of people, or if you're an irrational idiot.

I see countless commercials for brighter headlights that show two things:

1. Driving down a forest highway and seeing a deer suddenly pop up in the headlights.

2. Driving down a city road and seeing a kid suddenly pop up in the headlights.

The first one is mildly realistic, although highly improbable. The odds that the extra space you can see in the dark actually prevent you from hitting a deer are very slim, and those go along with the odds of hitting a deer in the first place. Most deer collisions are either because the driver is staring mindlessly down the road not paying attention, or because the deer happens to be crossing the road at the same time a car is passing. They don't just stand on highways and stare down the road. Even if one did one time, the majority don't. Anyway, long point short, don't buy headlights so you can avoid fucking deer on the highway.

The second is just stupid. What are kids doing on the road at night anyway? Playing night baseball? Kids will never run into the street for no reason at night. Unless they're trying to put McDonalds cups full of nails in the street for you to run over with your car. If that's the case, RUN THOSE JIZZRAGS RIGHT THE FUCK OVER.

So I've come to the conclusion that the only people who buy bright headlights are irrational parents and dickheads(because what makes you look more badass than blinding people?).


Clock Cleaner said...

This blog and marc's blog used to be awesome. Everyone would rip on marc for his posts, then I'd argue with everyone over something that would take days, then someone would occasionally post something funny, then everyone would go back to ripping marc's blog. Those were the days.

Inbred Nation said...

don't buy headlights so you can avoid fucking deer on the highway.

Buy headlights so you CAN fuck deer on the highway.