Friday, January 18, 2008

Patriots News Conference Today

News conferences are such bullshit. The players never actually answer the questions because if they actually give a concrete answer the media will blow it out of proportion. All you hear are really vague, long speeches about how the team is coming together blah blah blah blah.

So what if Tom Brady could really express his feelings during a press conference?
(Actual Questions)

Hey Tom, do you think the success of football players depends on hard work or God-given talent?

That's a really dumb question. You obviously need the biological advantages, and it's also obvious you need to work hard at something. A midget could work his ass off and never even make his high-school football team. Some dickwad could have all the best advantages, but if he doesn't work hard then he'll go nowhere. Really, you couldn't answer this yourself? Just because you're in the room doesn't mean you should say something. Jesus.

Is it more fun to score 42 points in a half or win at the last second?

Well beating the shit out of a bad team isn't really that fun. It gets boring, you know? You prepare all week, waste all that time, come out, and the other team is fucking chickens out there. The only real "fun" part is crushing the hopes of thousands of fans. I'd rather win at the last second.

You said you took a nap before the superbowl against the rams, but your team has said they're full of adrenaline, so how are you this week?

I took a nap because I was tired. Who gives a shit? Next question.

Does pressure affect you good or bad?

See these rings? Let's try and figure out if I'm good under pressure. Let's seeeee. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...I'm not sure...anyone want to guess?

How has life changed as you get older?

Oh good question. I get to have sex with hotter women for sure. That's the main thing. I thinks that's really all that matters for me. I mean, in 3 years I'll be humping some perfect sex robot.

Now a question for you, Bill, how have you kept the players egos in check?