Friday, June 29, 2007

Here lies an admittedly rudimentary list of what I think are the best 8 lines in the history of Seinfeld. Why 8? Because I could go for days but this has to end somewhere. Now, these are pulled completely off the top of my head with no research or even effort to remember. Hell, the quotes might not even be right. So if you don't agree, you can fuck right off.

8. "Jerry, I'm a little insulted."
"You're not a little anything Newman."

This needs no context. I don't even know what episode it's from.

7. "It's like putting your whole mouth in the bowl."

We all know this little dipshit was right, but the annoying way he confronts George makes him so contemptible it is ridiculous.

6. "The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli."

The best line from a classic Costanza rant. No one knows what the hell it means but they don't bother asking to find out either.

5. "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious!"

Delivery is everything here. The way Cosmo's voice jumps up during delicious is just

4. "You're crazy."
"Am I? Or am I so sane that I just blew your mind?"

This is the perfect Kramer line.

3. "Yeah, well the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"
"What's the difference? You're they're best seller."
"Yeah..well...I had sex with your wife!"
"Um George, his wife's in a coma."

George tries about 20 times harder at a good comeback than he does at any other single task during the series, and still fails. It's his life in a nutshell.

2. "And you wanna be my latex salesman...."

The fact the George is lying face down with his pants around his ankles really moved this up the rankings.

1. "I'm out."

So simple, so funny. Every time I see this episode, the line makes me lose control of my bowels.


St. Chris Simon said...

How about?...


"I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham."

--"Do you have any conceivable reason for getting up in the morning?"

--"I like to get the daily news..."

"Jerry, do you ever get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

---"Would you like insurance?"

---"Yeah, you better give me the insurance. Because I'm going to beat the hell out of this car."

and one of my favorites...

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down $2000 to live like him for a week. Sleep, do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating...THAT'S a fantasy camp."

clock cleaner said...


THESE pretzels are making ME Thirsty!
These PREZTELS are MAKING ME thirsty!

"Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." -Part of George's philosophy on living life.

"Hey! Bodysuit Man!"-George, trying to get fired, runs on the field but is too embarassed to go naked so he wears a peach bodysuit.

"Vile weed!"

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away."

My top 3 from secondary characters are as follows:
3. "Do you know what jur talking about, because I don't tink joo know what your talking about."

2. "You got a question, you ask the 8 ball.
So you're going to wear that all the time?
All signs point to yes!"

1. "Good for you, Jack!"

Good for you, Jack!