Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Thoughts I Was Thinking About

-The hot new Christmas item this year is apparently Zhu Zhu pets. From my research on them, they're little mechanical hamsters that are programmed to respond to objects you buy them. So let's get this straight. Hamsters are fucking stupid and useless, and nobody actually wants one. They're substitutes for real pets. Zhu Zhu pets are substitutes for hamsters. That makes them doubly useless. I'LL TAKE 4.

-I shouldn't be surprised, considering hot Christmas toys in the past have been things like Furby, Tamagochi and Cabbage Patch Kids. Fuck you kids who want to take of robots. All I wanted when I was a kid was Lego. Easily the best Christmas present you could have given me. I should have been an architect. "Look at this cool base I made for my spaceship! This jeep has wings so I can land it on the spaceship too and AWW MAN I NEED A 4 BLOCK TO FINISH MY BASE WALL." Lego rules.

-The Littlest Hobo is hilarious. The 30 minute block of time takes me all the way back to 1996. The commercials are the exact same as they were back then. There's the Bodybreak ads and public service messages every single break. Maybe tomoorrrrrow I'll wanna settle down, until tomorrow I'll just keep moving on da da da da dooo!

-I just saw the Nike Soccer ad from last year. I love it. Watch it now.

-What's with the weird alcohol advertising going on lately? There's the ad we know and love, where the guy is running through trees exploding from the ground, but there's others. The Smirnoff commercial where they all play instruments in the sewer, or paint an old gas station black and party inside, or the Bacardi commercial where they make an island in the middle of a lake. Who among us is willing to go to that much work for one night of drinking? Not worth it at all. They must have been drinking too much Bacardi when they came up with that idea. "Guys, guys, guys...let's make an ISLAND, and party on it!!" I lost interest already, dude.

-Finally, something went my way in Yahoo Fantasy Football. I won by 2 once they made the day-after adjustments. I was out of the playoffs before, but now I'm in! Yay! Sorry for sounding like Mike Silver. "I bet the Head Coach of USCB Women's Basketball team, Lindsay Gottlieb will have trouble in HER league. BUT WHAT ABOUT MALIBU? He was 3 points up for the 2 seed. I told her to start Reggie Bush, and she did. I can't believe that UCSB Women’s basketball coach Lindsay Gottlieb did that. I think she'll take the 2 seed. By the way, have I mentioned my daughter's soccer team won yesterday?" I absolutely cannot stand Silver's Gameface.


The Manute Bol Experience said...

You're the only person alive who reads Mike Silver. I've never heard a single other person ever talk about anything he's written, much less get angry enough to post something on their blog about him.

Clock Cleaner said...

I read everything on Yahoo Sports every day. Frankly, I'm surprised you've never read his stuff.
Sorry for not adhering to the topics I'm allowed to complain about. Maybe post the list or something?

Inbred Nation said...

If you want shitty reading, find anything by Chris Chase (MJD's buddy on Shutdown Corner). I still like reading MJD's stuff, but anything Chase writes is just absolute dog shit.

The Manute Bol Experience said...

List of topics you're allowed to complain about:

1. Google Maps grossly overestimating how long it takes to drive places.

2. Digital Rights Management.

3. That girl in you Sociology class who constantly interrupts and tries to start stupid discussions.

4. Airplane Food.