Friday, May 9, 2008

Phillly: City of Brotherly Sex

Christ. I have been so lazy for the longest time. I can't even do a proper post on this shit heap....

Anyway, the fucking Canadiens. What bags of garbage.

I have to shave my fucking head now because they lost their series. Which is horseshit because Philly lost how many games down the stretch. Like 17, I think? Without a win? That's abysmal, teams should fold if that happens, let alone be allowed in the playoffs. Lord Jesus...IF ONLY those fucking abortions missed the playoffs. I would be so happy.

Not only that, I would have my hair right now. It wasn't even a bad bet at the time. Montreal was riding Price and brought them through game seven (mind you, I thought Boston was severely underrated and I knew it would go to 6 or 7). Even still, Philly's previous series was no picnic, and I thought Montreal was far superior. Most did actually, and I thought it was a sure bet that they would get past them...5...maybe 6 games tops. Not even.

Now I'm fucking bald. Which is just dynamite.

As of now, it looks like a dumb ass bet to make, but I didn't think Philly would ever win. I know they weren't that big of a long shot...but the Habs were a very consistent and talented team (if I could describe vaguely). Philly's second half of the season was fucking atrocious. I didn't expect the outcome, it really caught me by surprise. They went down 3-1 and I almost cried. Fuck those flaming cheese-steak eating pouch-lickers.

Flyers Fans

Anyway, I'm mad. My own fault? Yes. But fuck off.

Some explanations are that Price is was not near ready for the playoffs. It would have been picture perfect, though. Picture it, a young 'tender wins the Cup, à la Patrick Roy, Montreal goes crazy and the Cup is back in Canada (I know its Montreal, but fuck it). Even if that was a stretch, they should have beat Philly. I mean, all Philly is are a bunch of cheap-shotting cunts who rely on their off-and-on offence to win games. Which just happen to be with Marty Biron (consistently for once). Obviously great for Philly...but who would have thought that? Maybe Riley, because he has a such a gaping wet spot for them. Or maybe he just loves Lindros...and his huge cunt.

Off topic

Fuck was he a bitch. Had one good year....and only because it was shortened due to a lockout...or else Scott Stevens would have sent him into a coma a few years early. Lindros is the Keyshawn Johnson of the NHL.

Back on...

Watching that series, Montreal had no fucking clue what they were doing. Which was not how they played in the previous series...even in a close one. They didn't deserve to win more than one game in the Philly one. It was embarrassing. But I still feel like I should express my resentment...

I mean, its Philly...they play so simple a child could dissect their shitty system and their defence is straight-up retarded. No exaggeration. They have as much hockey sense as a jar of smashed assholes.

Whatever...go Pittsburgh. Cindy Crosby and Malkin should take care of 'em. God knows Fleury won't. That dude must have sold his soul to the Devil to get into the Conference Finals.


Anonymous said...

Dude. You are like, the Herman Melville of blogs.

Clock Cleaner said...

Firstly...Herman Melville? What the fuck? Elaborate.

Secondly...HAHAHA Jordan that's what you get. Don't worry though, I'm sure being bald doesn't make you look like any less of a douchebag. Don't hate on Philly because you made a retarded bet.

The Manute Bol Experience said...

I really don't get the Herman Melville. At first I thought it was because he took a long time between books, but I looked it up and he pumped out at least one novel (sometimes two) every year between 1846 and 1857 (not including 1848....fuck off). There was also a smattering of short story and poetry collections. Does that seem a little bit fucking prolific to anyone else? That's a lot of writing.

There was 70 years between the publishing of his last two novels. But the last one was started in 1866, so I'm not sure that counts.

Maybe you're referring to the frequent homo-erotic themes in Melville's writing. This one makes more sense, I guess.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

Either it was sarcastic...or was calling me gay. I'm going with the latter. Either way...I thought it was funny.

Why was it a retarded bet? I had odds you fuck. I hate your stupid jumps to conclusions...for no fucking reason other than to point out how big of a cunt you are.

Besides, Philly did have that terrible 17 game stretch...not like a couple wins by Montreal wasn't possible.

Also...that bet pretty much worked out like every other. Not sure why it was retarded. I shave my head once a year anyways, not like it fucking matters. Just hair. I'm not Samson for christ sakes. But I guess you value something like that more than others, I figure. Losing as substantial amount of money would have sucked more...but apparently they thought they were going to make me feel embarrassed instead.

Anyway, still have my its a moot point now. The other guy who lost backed out for some reason...and that caused a whole heated discussion I wasn't even involved in. So I guess I get off scot-free.

Flyers still suck.

Inbred Nation said...

Haha I think the Melville comment could have been written like this: "You are a fucking brutal writer. Quit now."

What an asshole thing to say.

Now I feel like the Nazi wrote that comment himself.

Clock Cleaner said...

I'm pretty sure he did write it himself.

Jordan, what were the other guys willing to do if the Canadiens won the series?

By the way, you're an asshole. You know my favorite team is the Flyers, and then you go and write a long-ass post bashing them and their fans because your bet was wrong. And you seem so angry in your post because you say you've shaved your head, when you actually didn't. I could maybe see being angry at the Flyers if you'd have actually had to go through with the consequences, but you didn't.

I don't write a whole big post talking about how everything and everyone involved with the Maple Leafs are shitheads, because I know that's unneccesarily being an asshole. It is my hope that you take away a lesson from this... on how to not be asshole. You could also try to not look like such a fucking queer all the time.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

So what if your favorite team is the Flyers. I wasn't personally attacking you (you weren't in the picture). Relax...make fun of the Islanders as much as you want. Just leave me out of it.

I wrote that cause the head shaving was imminent. The comments came days later, when it fell through. That outcome had nothing to do with me. I would have for sure, would have pissed me off a bit...but I didn't have to. Thought I did, as I previously explained. But you're making it sound like I could predict the future and knew that I wouldn't have to go through with it. If I did, I wouldn't have been as irritated.

Why does writing about how much you hate the Leafs make you an asshole? You write about things you hate all the time...why would a hockey team be off-limits? You're just saying that because I wrote about your beloved I would have whether you liked them or not. I wasn't targeting you, but I knew it would get your blood boiling...which I find pretty funny. Sorry.

Then you say I look like a queer. Alright. Never really noticed. Got any tips? Maybe I can borrow a headband?

Or maybe we should just stop this right now. I don't care, but these things go on for too long. No more Flyers posts or whatever. Promise. You can sleep tight tonight knowing that they are safe from anymore criticism from me. And I love you. So don't get all mad, fuck.

P.S. I did right that. Read his article on Wikipedia for some reason. No idea why I wrote that. I found it pretty funny Stephen went in depth and found comparisons.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

Seriously though, don't like fighting on these things anymore. Things get too hostile. I have nothing against you Riley.

Off topic...but what do you guys say about golf sometime soon? I've had a nasty hankerin' to get out there. We should pick a date and time and go.

Clock Cleaner said...

That comment I wrote was meant to be very soft-toned and not angry(except for the add-on at the end). I was going to write that in the comment, but I didn't.

You can see why I'd be irritated on here for the last while, what with people attacking beer I like, players I like, and teams I like. And in case your head has been up your ass, you'll know I don't take kindly to anything that I think attacks me. I will fight it to the death. I won't stand by and watch something I like or enjoy be shat upon. Don't worry Jordan, I don't have anything against you either.

No, you can't borrow a headband. I only have one.

Post your work schedule on here or something. Pretty much everyone else here works or goes to school every weekday and has the weekend and weekday nights off. Book off the weekend of the 31st in any case. No plan is in place, but something will be sometime.

Anyway, stay tuned. I might write a post about how all people who work at places like Safeway and the Matrix will all be genetically weeded out in the next couple generations due to their inability to cope with the rigors of civilized life and being of sub-average intelligence. No offense to anyone here.

The Manute Bol Experience said...

Marc and I are playing the Tor Hill at 1:45 tomorrow if you're interested Jordan. Not sure if you can make that.

The Manute Bol Experience said...

And did you guys see on KSK that when Tatupu was busted for his DUI, he was driving a bloody Hyundai Accent? I can't wrap my head around this for some reason. I don't have a 40 million dollar contract, and I wouldn't drive an Accent. Even if it was a rental or something, this is still inexplicable.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

About the golf time. Could have made it. Didn't check this until now though. Fuck.

Anyway, I could go probably next tuesday or wednesday. I only work 4-9 tueday and I'm off all day wednesday. Weekends are busy for me, which sucks...monday is possible too, but I work at 3. Either than that...I will be busy thursday. I work, then going to see Indiana Jones with Bobbie (she has a wet spot for Harrison Ford) and then of course, usually busy friday, saturday, sunday....unless I book it off well in advance.

Post if anything can be planned...

Clock Cleaner said...

can't you get a full time day job and some part time work on weekdays(if you need it)? working every weekend really isn't cool.

Nazi Synthesizer said...

Fuck man...every retail job has the young 'uns working on weekends. That's how it works. Whatever, I'm done at Safeway now...that should free up some time. But I agree, working every weekend isn't cool...but its the way the business works sometimes. But never again.

Anonymous said...

you are all cum bags

Nazi Synthesizer said...

thats an understatement