Roger Goodell reacts to the Sunday's upsets

(Preparing for Superbowl with staff Sunday night)


Alright guys...and girl! Heh Heh Can't forget about you Amber! Anyway... Thanks for coming.

Hope everyone had a good time during our staff vacation in Thailand.

I know I did.

Two words.

Tsunami. Orphans.

Anyway...

Well...It's been a fairly slow week. The plans to maximize profits during these playoffs have gone as planned. I can't foresee any problems we could run into this weekend, where the Colts should easily handle the Chargers and the Cowboys will beat the Giants. I mean, everyone knows Rivers is a fucking whiny bitch anyway, so nothing will change if we tell the refs to call the game in the Colts favour. Not that we'd even have to do that, considering how shitty the Chargers are. Obviously the Cowboys will win. The Giants suck so bad.

Yeah.
What?
Are you kidding?
Jeff, they have ELI MANNING.
ELI MANNING IS THEIR STARTING QUARTERBACK, JEFF.

Ooooo a great pass rush? Whoop-dee-fuckin-doo. A great pass rush means nothing if your entire secondary have their arms up to their elbows in each other's asses for 3/4 of a game. Back on topic.

Alright, so just so everyone's got it straight. Colts and Patriots will be a huge draw. Packers and Cowboys will be a huge draw. This year we're gonna have to take the profit hit in the Superbowl. The Patriots will walk all over the Cowboys, and there's nothing we can do about that. The conference championships will more than make up for it though.

God, can you guys imagine the shit that would fly if those teams lose today? Hahahahaha a Packers-Giants conference final? If you'd said that to me at the beginning of this season I would have burned you at the stake immediately. Like seriously, just fucking shoot me if that ever happens. And the Chargers? Fuck right off. That would be fucking terrible for everyone, ever, if those teams win. A fucking travashamockery.

Intercom: Mr. Goodell, sorry to disturb you but I think you should turn on the TV and check out the highlights of the games.

(click)

Why? What could be so impor...aw fuck.